XLIX. On Raisins and Raison D’être

I have been coerced to join a course teaching mindfulness and its relation to relapse prevention, by a stale and patriarchal authority I more then disapprove of, but more importantly by a thought, to redeem a mothers faith in her son, prodigal and virtuous, that he can reach enlightenment despite the many physical and metaphysical adversities that are thrown at him. I am that son, cross-legged and open handed in a room of drunks and councillors, and I being the only junkie high on liberation into infinity and the farthest reaches. Handed a handful of raisins, now begins the mindfulness. To choose one from the bunch and alienate it in order to examine it between my fingers as if it were a foreign object. Looking at them., squeezing them all between my fingers, the resistance to my pressure is all the same, are these signs of indifference or signs of a closed off mind? Have I chose this singled out Raison D’être, or has this singled out raisin chosen me? A better formulation, have I chosen the raisins or have the raison d’être chosen me? Complexities with any other dried or not dried fruit, does the sensation change? Does my holding of them change? Surely, but the choice? When does this impetus of chewing become inertia, the swallowing and the satisfaction. Is the raisin devoured or is the Raison D’être devouring? As its idea is fulfilled, what becomes of it past the point of satisfaction, or has this satisfaction of itself been ever reached? The subject to its subjectivity or the object to its objectivity? Which one has this relationship between I and raisin become in the process of our active exchange, our active participation in one another? And what of our active devouring as well? How to maintain the other in this triad, is it mind or mindfulness? The Raison D’être the raisin? The fantasy of the real raisin satisfying the ideal raisins possibility for reality, by allowing it a gap, to say “this is good form, this is bad form. The raisin ponders just the same over our entanglement, and gives up the Raison D’être for use. Such a satori, going in with no satisfactions, all devoured, devouring, devours. I, the raisin, the Raison D’être, each of us an object and a subject. Objects to this courses curicullum, subjects to this courses curicullum, such indifference! This great singularity that can be reached.


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